Love Doesn't Work Without Genma!
by TheVickyMonster
Summary: Kakashi is in love, he's obsessed and he's horny. Iruka's annoyed and not in the mood for people. Put them togethor and what do you get? A KakaIru fanfic! Rated for later chapters. [KakaIru, some SasuNaru eventually] [YAOI and Shounen AI!]please read?
1. Chapter 1

Iruka scre-shouted (Ninja don't scream P) as he dropped a box of mission reports onto his foot. His face went red as he heard a soft chuckle from behind him. Iruka spun wildly ready to give whoever was laughing at him a piece of his mind and maybe a piece of his fist, he really was not in the best mood that morning.

As Iruka whirled he noticed a large amount of silver hair and immediately blushed furiously. His eyes met a single black one and he dropped his gaze as soon as he realized who he was about to shout at.

"Yo." Hatake Kakashi, legendary jounin and one of the most deadly nin in Konoha, was chuckling quietly to himself as he watched the tanned chunin become flustered and try to decide where to look. "Are you ok Iruka-sensei?"

"Yes Hatake-san, I'm fine thank you for your concern." With that the blushing chunin grabbed his box and ran as quickly as possible away from the smiling jounin behind him.

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Later that day Iruka was filing reports in the mission room, while trying to ignore Genma's indecision about who was hotter Kakashi or Kotetsu or Asuma and trying to concentrate on not ramming his friend's head in a drawer and ramming it closed as many times as necessary to shut him up.

"…but Kakashi is so mysterious and he has that body ya know?" Genma looked up just in time to see that his friend was on the brink of murder. "You 'k man?"

"If you do not shut up within fifteen seconds then I am going to turn you into a woman and put you within Jiraiya-sama's reach!" Iruka was really not in the best mood after having had his run in with Kakashi. 

"Hmm…Jiraiya is hot in that…" The jounin was cut of by having to dive out of the way of a pen aimed perfectly to impale his eye.

"Ok, since Jiraiya won't turn you off, I'll send you out for tea with Kurenai and then tell Asuma you made a move on her, or I may just take that senbon and aim better this time. So shut. Up!"

"But Ruka-chan!" Genma had to make another dive as a mug full of coffee flew in his direction.

"OK! I'LL TELL ANKO YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH HER!" Genma looked horrified, as a strictly gay man he did not like the prospect of the insane, S&M freak that was Anko coming toward him with sex on the mind.

"I'm sorry! Please don't do that to me! And please don't tell Asuma that I made a move on Kurenai, I may be a jounin but I don't want him after my skin." Genma had once before angered Asuma when it was something to do with Kurenai and he was sure that he would have a better chance fighting of Orochimaru by himself than he would beating Asuma when it was over Kurenai.

"Fine." Muttered Iruka as he pinched his nose, feeling a headache coming on.

"But who do you like, ickle Iruka-chan?" Genma watched the chunin carefully in case any projectiles, including kunai, came his way.

"Genma that is none of your business."

"Sure it is! If one of Konoha's sexiest little chunin has his eye on someone then he should tell his friends!"

"If you do not either shut up or piss off then I may be forced to take a kunai and make you useless to Kakashi, Asuma or Kotetsu!"

"OK, OK calm it! I didn't mean to touch a raw nerve there!" Genma held his hands up submissively trying to placate the now irate chunin.

"Genma shut the hell up!" Iruka was now standing with his hands pressing angrily against his desk, anger making his face red, his hair falling out of it's normally impeccable pony-tail.

"You know you look highly fuckable when you're hair is down and you're angry?!" The end of the statement was a shout as Genma made his exit out of the window of the mission room before Iruka could threaten or murder him.

Iruka folded his arms and rested his head upon them as he sat back at his desk. His head was aching worse than ever and he was not up for trying to decipher the mission reports from jounin's whose handwriting was worse than Naruto's!

"Good afternoon Iruka-sensei! How are you feeling on this wonderful day!?" Iruka's day was going from bad to worse. He slid his hand further under his desk trying to find something to use as a weapon, feeling his hand grip around a pair of metal objects lying near his bag he pulled them up until they were hidden beneath his arm.

"Hello there Gai-sensei, if you have a mission report can you just leave it on the pile?" Iruka hoped with all his heart that the Green Beast would leave him alone and he wouldn't have to threaten him too.

"Oh Iruka-sensei I came to see you! Not for a mission report! I wanted to check that you are as youthful and jubilant as ever!"

"I'm fine Gai-sensei; can I please have some rest?" Gai looked at the chunin with mild-interest (TVM: which in Gai's case is very enthusiastic P).

"Iruka-sensei! You are in the spring-time of your youth! You should be awake and training or finding your true-love!" At that moment Iruka sprung up holding his weapons out in front of him. "Umm…Iruka-sensei are those salad spoons?"

"Yes Gai-sensei and if you do not leave immediately I may be forced to use them to pull out your eyes!" Gai was thoroughly confused at the chunin, Iruka was normally nice and friendly, even towards the Green Beast, and he never forgot his rank, until now that is. Iruka dropped his eyes and his "weapons".

"I'm sorry Gai-sensei, I should never have shouted at you, it isn't your fault that I'm annoyed." Iruka looked at the Green Beast of Konoha and recoiled as a sunset background appeared behind Gai and he started weeping manly tears.

"Iruka-sensei! I forgive you! Your strength even in times of sadness is so immense that I must admire you! Please stay youthful my friend!" With that Gai left. Iruka was thoroughly confused, and did Gai just say that he was Iruka's friend? Iruka's day could not get worse.

Just as Iruka was lying on his desk, and wishing that the ground would swallow him whole, did Kakashi decide to make his second appearance of the day.

"Yo."

"Hello Hatake-san, how can I help you?" Iruka didn't raise his head, he didn't want to look at the copy-nin, he might end up lobbing a stapler at him.

"Are you alright Iruka-sensei?" Kakashi's visible eye showed concern for the little chunin. _No one should annoy my Ruka! Only I can annoy him! Mine!_

Iruka raised his head, he could hear actual worry coming from the legendary jounin in front of him. "Don't worry Hatake-san, I'm fine, I just may have to murder a certain senbon-sucker."

_What did he do with my Iruka!!_

"Murder? That's a bit extensive for m--- you Iruka-sensei." _Shit! I nearly called him mine! He wouldn't appreciate that until I get closer to him, especially when I have him under me moaning my name and asking me to…_

"Hatake-san? Are you ok?" Kakashi rubbed the back of his head and gave an innocent smile.

_Come on Hatake, keep a clean mind! You can deal with this… OHMYGAWD! HIS HAIR IS DOWN! WANT TO TOUCH! WANT FEEL! WANT TO NUZZLE!_

"Hatake-san could you please stop staring at me?" Iruka blushed as he realised the copy-nin was staring openly at him, did he have something on his face? He needed to find another hair-tie, his hair was distracting him from the pale man in front of him.

"…"

"Kakashi-san?"

At that particular moment in time Kakashi suddenly formed the seals for his transportation jutsu.

"What did I say?" Iruka was confused as he realised that the copy-nin must have taken an extreme disliking to him.

At the same moment in time on the other side of Konoha a certain pale jounin was stifling a nose bleed. His eyes wide as he could do nothing but think of the beautiful chunin with his hair down and a blush across his cheeks.

_I want him! I need that chunin. Who could help me? Jiraiya? No, he'd scare away my little Iruka. Tsunade? No, she'd perv on him. GENMA!!_


	2. Chapter 2

**I DON'T OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS!!!**

**TVM: Sorry for the capitals there but I keep forgetting to put in disclaimers and I don't want anyone to beat me up! *ducks under desk with laptop* thank you for reminding me ZeldaFitz!!!**

**This chapter goes to my dah-ling Christopher! He willingly read my story even though he doesn't like yaoi or shounen ai ?. Also I think I may hire him as a beta reader XD**

**Thank you to all you lovely people who read and reviewed this ? It gave me the inspiration to continue hehehe.**

**Well anywho I better get on with the story!!!**

KakaIruKakaIruKakaIruKakaIru

Shiranui Genma, one of Konoha's elite, was slowly making his way back to the mission room, slowly due to the fact that he did not want an encounter with a severely pissed of chunin by the name of Umino Iruka!

"Shit, I shouldn't have pissed off Iruka, he'll follow through with one of those damn threats, though Jiraiya wouldn't bother me too much." The senbon-sucker chuckled to himself, he loved annoying Iruka, it was so easy. As he walked, hands in pockets, he started dreaming of an encounter between himself and the legendery Sannin, mainly involving a brush, a shovel and a kiwi (TVM: I'm not sure how that would work but hey it's Jiraiya!). As Genma fantasised about Jiraiya another legendary nin headed his way, this one however was not holding any random objects and he was not in a good mood. Genma's mind was slowly becoming filthier and filthier, his fantasy now involved some chocolate too, and so he had to pause to wait for a certain problem to disappear. (TVM: o.O *slaps Genma* You weren't meant to get turned on! Genma: Gomen v_v)

Kakashi was irritated, he had been searching for that damn senbon-chewer all day, where the hell could he be!? Just as Kakashi was about to murder some random passer-by he spotted our favourite bandana-ed (TVM: O.o is that a word? ^___^ well it is now!) jounin. His mind set on murder Kakashi walked over toward Genma his eyes trained on Genma's, though there was no point, Genma's eyes were glazed over and a slight bit of blood was escaping his nose.

"Shiranui-san! I NEED YOUR HELP!" Kakashi all but throttled the lazy jounin as he tried to make him understand the gravity of his problem.

"WHAT?! WHO!? WHEN NOW?!?! …… oh… hello Hatake-san." Genma blushed furiously as Kakashi raised his one visible eyebrow to him.

"Deep in thought Shiranui-san?" Kakashi held back a chuckle as the jounin before him blushed furiously.

"Y…..yes…Hatake-san……What can I do for you?" Genma tried to take attention away from his ever reddening face, as his fantasy edited from being about Jiraiya to now containing one very elusive copy-nin.

"Well..Umm…Yeah…About that, well there's someone who's caught my attention." Kakashi chose his words carefully for the next part, he was not going to embarrass himself in front of Genma, he only did that in front of Iruka. "You know them better than me and I need your help!!"

"Umm…Hatake-san, it would help if you told me who it was?" Kakashi blushed, he knew he'd have to admit it to someone but it still made him feel embarrassed that a simple chunin could cause him so much embarrassment and discomfort. And sleepless nights and wet dreams, that sexy little piece of chunin is gonna give me RSI!

"Can we do this over sake Shiranui-san?" Kakashi wanted to go somewhere he could hide his face so that no one could see the blush creep up to his hairline.

"Of course, and you can call me Genma, I don't like formalities." _**YES! AN EXCUSE NOT TO GO SEE UMINO!!!!**_

"Thank you Genma-san." With that the two elite jounin made their way to a small booth in the back of one of Kakashi's favourite haunts.

Today was not Iruka's day. Iruka had left the mission room early on Tsunade's orders after some very unsettling scenes with the fifth Hokage.

**TIME FOR A FLASHBACK!**

Iruka was lying with his body draped over his desk, his life couldn't get much worse, the person he was obsessed with thought he was an idiot, he had Gai talking to him and Genma had bailed on his mission room duty! Suddenly there was a thump on the door and Iruka's day got a heck of a lot worse!

"Iruka-sensei! Come have a drink with me!" Shouted the already rather drunk Hokage.

"I'm sorry Hokage-sama but I'm on mission room duty and Genma-kun has left me alone."

"You only have an hour left to go! You need a break! Come drink some sake then I'll send you home!" Iruka gazed up at the beautiful Hokage and wondered why she was being nice to him, he was only a school teacher after all.

"OK Hokage-sama, I'll just put these away and lock up the files." Iruka rose and quickly put away all the mission reports and pens on his desk. As he was walking around the mission room he could feel the Hokage's eyes follow him, it made him slightly uncomfortable to have the Hokage stare at him but he didn't complain, he was getting to go home early and wouldn't have to be on his own for a while.

"Ok Hokage-sama, that's me done, where to?" Iruka turned to smile at the blonde behind him.

"Up to my office Iruka-kun." Iruka was suddenly very uncomfortable with the way the Hokage was looking at him, he knew that look, it was the one Jiraiya gave women he was 'studying'.

"o…ok Hokage-sama, shall I bring anything with me?" Iruka was blushing as he tried not to look at the fifth.

"Just you and that sexy butt of yours, and you can call me Tsunade-chan," the fifth Hokage winked conspicuously at the chunin who had so much blood rushing to his cheeks that his brain wasn't functioning!

"umm…Hokage-sa.." Tsunade cut him off there with a glare. "Tsunade-chan, are you trying to make a move on me?" The chunin blushed still brighter as he looked innocently at the fifth Hokage.

"Why yes I am Iruka-kun, do you mind?" leaning forward Tsunade rested her ample chest on the desk and looked up at Iruka with half-lidded eyes.

"umm… Tsunade-sama, I'm…umm…well….I'M GAY!" While Iruka stood blushing like a post-box Tsunade started thinking, 'Who could the chunin be wanting?! OH! Imagine him with Kakashi!' at that the hokage got a major nosebleed.

"Tsunade-sama! Are you alright?!" Iruka was worried, the Hokage had just basically had an explosion of the nasal variety.

"I'm fine Iruka-kun, on you go home, I promised you the rest of the day off." With that the beautiful blonde ran from the room trying to decide how she could bribe Iruka for pictures!

So now we have a very embarrassed chunin walking home on his own.

"I need some sake!"

"Why not go for some then?" A voice made Iruka jump, he was not expecting Genma to appear after his outburst at him earlier in the day.

"Genma-kun! Don't scare me like that!" Iruka put on his best teacher voice.

"Come on, let's go for sake!" The jounin was in high spirits, his life was just made so much easier meeting the cute little chunin on his way home. (TVM: No ideas now Genma!! I'll give you Hayate or Jiraiya if you behave around Iruka!)

* * *

TVM - Well I do believe I shall have to leave it there my dears! Please forgive me!

I need your help now! Who should I pair Genma with?!

a) Jiraiya - he seems to like the sound of that :P

b) Hayate - THE CUTENESS!! .

c) Raidou - I need to involve him some more in stories!

d) Kotetsu and Izumo - one or the other or both!

I'll write the next chapter ASAP! (Uni annoys me!!)

Love =3


	3. Chapter 3

Well everyone, I have finally returned to continue this story!

Sorry for making you all wait so long but I'm now up for getting going!

As before! These characters are not mine I simply misuse them =3

KakaIruKakaIruKakaIruKakaIru

"So lil Ruka-kun, any more headway with the mystery love?" Genma was pushing his luck, but hey, it's better than pushing it with a certain silver-haired nin.

"Genma-kun... I really don't want to talk about it," Iruka dropped his eyes to stare at his sake, he may need some help but he wasn't going to ask Genma... anyone would be better.

"Sorry, sorry, just thought I could help," The shifty look on Genma's face had Iruka worried... There was something going on that he didn't know about!

Both men sat in silence for a few moments, the silence stretching and driving both mad. Grabbing a pair of chopsticks Iruka pointed them at Genma's face.

"What's going on?! You ran away from me earlier yet we're having sake now?!" Genma blinked, he was at a loss, Iruka had gone nuts and was flailing around with chopsticks shouting about some conspiracy. He wanted to help... but man, Iruka wasn't making it easy!

"Ruka-chan... are you ok?" Asked the senbon-sucker as soon as his friend had collapsed onto the table, head resting on folded arms. Some incoherent mutterings came from under the quilt of dark hair. Iruka slowly lifted his head to almost cause a nosebleed to his friend, hair down and slightly blushed from the sake, he looked gorgeous. (TVM : GENMA! Behave!! I'm warning you! I'll make you straight! . Genma : Sorry . please don't!)

"I think we should get you home soon Iruka-kun... You're looking a bit tipsy man..." Genma moved across the table and almost fell, there was someone staring at him, jounin just know these things, and man whoever it was wasn't friendly! He turned slowly watching for anyone who might be showing undue interest in him. As soon as he realised who it was relief washed over him, Kakashi was standing near the bar watching the interaction between the jounin and his own little chunin.

_He so much as touches my little Iruka and I'll rip his head off! Stupid senbon-sucking idiot! _Kakashi's thoughts weren't too friendly to anyone who went near Iruka, especially when it was a renowned pervert like Shiranui Genma!

"Wait a mo' Ruka-chan, I'll be back, seen someone I think might be interesting," With that he winked at Iruka and made his way over to the masked jounin at the bar.

As Genma crossed the bar he felt Kakashi's hateful glare diminish, thankfully the copy nin wasn't going to kill him when he tried to speak. "Hatake-san, I can't help you if you stare at me like you're going to kill me if I go near him!"

"Shiranui... If you lay one finger on him, I will kill you!" Kakashi's glare had Genma shaking in his shoes, you just don't cross the legendary Hatake Kakashi and get away with it!

"Geeeenmaaaaaaa-kuuuuuuuun!" Genma winced as Kakashi glared at him more, Iruka had horrible timing!

"Come on! Genma-kun, I want more sake!! Give me my wallet!" Genma shook his head, he knew it was a good idea to take the innocent teachers wallet from him.

"HATAKE-SAN!" The blush on Iruka's face as he noticed the legendary nin was spectacular, and to a certain jounin absolutely irresistible!

Grabbing Iruka by the waist Kakashi pulled him into a fierce kiss, both men battling to be dominant. After a second Kakashi stepped back, his usual impeccable self looking much more bedraggled and ruffled. Blushing like a maniac Iruka couldn't speak, words had fled him and the man he loved was just staring at him looking shocked.

_OMG what did I do?! He's never going to forgive me! My poor Ruka-chan, I've scared him off!_

As he was thinking Kakashi failed to realise that Iruka was slowly falling over. With a thud Genma caught him and tried to get the attention of the copy nin.

"Hatake-san, I'm takin' him home! He's drank too much and this won't end well if he thinks you've kissed him cause he was easy!" With that Iruka gave a happy giggle and slumped asleep into Genma's arms. Picking him up bridal style, Genma carried his friend home and placed him gently into his bed. "Sleep well Ruka-chan, I'll help you figure this out in the morning."

On the other side of the village Kakashi was lying on his bed staring at the ceiling.

_What've I done? I shouldn't have touched him! He's going to hate me!_

His mind raced in circles as he rubbed the bridge of his nose trying to relieve the ache beginning to form across his head.

KakaIruKakaIruKakaIruKakaIru

Rolling over slowly, Iruka winced as the sunlight made contact with his eyes, trying to remember the night before he pushed his hair out of his eyes. He could remember being at the sake bar with Genma, there was very little after that, though there was a horrible feeling something important had happened. Iruka looked at his clock, jumping when he realised he was an hour late for mission room duty! Running around he pulled on his uniform and started looking for a tie for his hair, giving up when none appeared after five minutes he ran from his house and out into the busy streets.

Arriving at his desk Iruka looked around to see who was in, Genma was sitting with his feet on his desk, sucking on his senbon and snoring gently.

"Wake up Genma-kun!" At that Genma fell from his seat shouting about not wanting tacos. (TVM : I have no idea what goes on in his head!)

"Ruka-chan! You made it!" The look on Genma's face made Iruka feel uncomfortable, he knew something had definitely happened, please God say he didn't sleep with Genma...

"What happened last night Genma-kun?" Genma chewed on his senbon and thought his words out.

"Hatake-san kissed you..."

And with that we're done for another chapter!

Hope you guys enjoyed =3

TVM x


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